SWEATHOG
Birth Name: John Billasano
Age: 52
F3 Start Date: 3-13-2024
Main AO Posts:
The Tribe, Shootout, Tigers Den, Moonbase
What led you to F3, and how did your first post challenge you or inspire you in unexpected ways? and how did you get your F3 nickname?
Patch had been trying to get me to post for weeks. I saw him post about this new workout group he was doing and it intrigued me. I was happy to see him find a group he was enjoying, but I was already working out on my own so it wasn’t that I didn’t want to work out I just didn’t want to be around other people. I didn’t realize that I was my own version of a Sad Clown.
So when I finally posted I did it so he would quit asking me. I had no intentions of coming back or doing it for more than a week. I had a lot of reasons for working out alone and I didn’t feel like sharing them with a bunch of guys I didn’t know. So, I came in with the attitude that I was just going to be just John, plain old John with no back story. I figured no one knew me other than Patch so I could share or not share whatever I wanted.
I didn’t think that 45 minute-ish around this group would inspire me to share more about me or my life so quickly. It started from the time I arrived to AO Shootout, well I first showed up to Tigersden, I mixed up the days, I was there alone and almost went home but I was already up and out so I drove to Shootout and made it right before the beatdown started. I got a battle buddy and tried to keep up with all the crazy names for things and tried not to laugh as we did Motivators, seeing someone do motivators for the first time is hilarious I don’t care who you are lol. The beatdown was tougher than I thought, mix in the fact that I didn’t want to be there and be around bunch of people I was really struggling. As the beatdown went on and several Pax fell behind, seeing them go back and pick up the six made me start thinking this wasn’t a bad idea after all. They started joking around with each other and I started noticing that yes, they were there to workout but they genuinely like each other and where really enjoying each other’s company. By the end of the beatdown I was spent and vulnerable that when they asked me questions about myself, I just vomited words all over the place and immediately felt awkward and embarrassed. But no one seemed phased by anything I said, nor did they look at me differently.
I remember talking to my M that day, she was worried about me being out there with other people because she knew where I was in life even when I didn’t. She said she noticed the difference in me and was the one that encouraged me to keep going. I was so worried about her and my girls that I had neglected myself and I felt guilty thinking that something would keep me from being there for them, but it was almost like she was letting me know it was ok if I had fun and that I needed to fill my cup if I wanted to pour my cup it into theirs.
I got my F3 name by just being Sweathog. It was a brisk 75 degree morning, I drink A TON of water on a daily basis so that mixed in with a P.O. beatdown so needless to say I was covered in a bit of perspiration. And if you have ever shared a beatdown with me you know 75,65, 35 it don’t matter I’m still gonna sweat.
What impact has F3 had on your life, and what lessons or moments stand out as defining your journey?
Where do I start, F3 has definitely IMPACTED my life in a positive way. Being out in the gloom has been the biggest surprise for sure, I would’ve never guessed I’d be looking forward to getting up at 4ish every week day to go WORKOUT, I even get up on a Saturday sometimes to put on a #40 vest to hike!! Who am I?
But seriously the moment that stands out the most to me was when you guys did my Olive You Ashley Challenge. Having my fellow PAX show me so much love is one thing but doing it for my daughter that you guys never had the pleasure of meeting ,but doing it because you know how much it meant to me was something that I will NEVER forget and will expect each year October 9th mark your calendars lol
What’s been the hardest challenge you’ve faced—either in life or in F3—and what did it teach you about perseverance?
This goes back to the previous question; it was losing my daughter. At the time I was a 38-year-old dad, husband, son, friend that had the world in the palm of his hands (so I thought) and just like that my life changed. I hadn’t had a significant loss or faced hard times, so I felt like I was invincible. I was the best employee, #1 Dad (I have a T-shirt & cup to prove it) best son and a great friend, and after that day I felt that all went away. I spent years trying to get back to that guy, but grief changes you.
I lost jobs, friends, both my parents since that day and at times it felt like all the progress I was making got wiped away after each of those losses and I had to start all over again. Not only was I grieving my daughter but I was grieving the loss of my job, friends, my parents and the version of me that I thought I had/wanted to be. I wanted to quit so many times, it was exhausting.
Having to pick yourself up when you feel like you’re almost at the top is hard, but grief isn’t a 12 step program, a mountain to climb or a race to finish, it’s a journey that is ever evolving. Some days are harder than others but when the day ends and you’re still here you have an opportunity to start all over again the next day. It’s why I LOVE F3. Hearing stories of other PAX that have gone through tough times, survived and who are reinventing themselves has inspired me to keep evolving. We all have a story; we don’t always get to choose the subject matter of that story, but we can have input in how that story ends. Your story isn’t over until you put your pen down, and as long as there is breath in these old sweaty lungs I’m going to keep on writing.
What is next for Sweat Hog and where do you see that next 43 feet taking you on your H.I.M journey?
Well first of all I had to google what the “Next 43 Feet” meant and I LOVE IT!! Focusing on the immediate future and focusing on the present is how I have kept going so far in life.
I have had the pleasure of getting to know some amazing PAX in my short F3 journey and none even more amazing than Golden Pinky, Hammertime, Pianoman, Flipper, Impact, and Cliffhanger. They were gracious enough to let me be a part of something amazing they had been thinking of for a while.
We created a Non-Profit to help our fellow F3 Austin PAX called The Austin HIM Foundation. To hear and see their version and passion to want to help our fellow PAX has me excited for what the future holds, not only for the foundation but for F3 Austin. So when they asked me to be the president of the foundation I was blown away and graciously accepted.
You are rarely surrounded by men who wake up each morning ready to inspire and invigorate male community leadership and do it all for free, and then to have men H.I.Ms wanting to go even further and make a nonprofit to help where those beatdowns cant is truly inspiring. So being a part of something bigger than myself was a no brainer. Austinhimfoundation.org (insert shameless plug)
So where does the Next 43 Feet look like for me? You guys are going to have to tune in, I don’t want to limit myself to whatever I write down and I don’t want anyone to think that I am only focused on those things either. The possibilities are endless and for once in my life I can honestly say I’m not trying to be that old version of John that I’ve been striving to get back to for so many years, I want to be a BETTER version of that guy and help those PAX that have their own Sad Clown story, so they don’t have to feel ashamed to share like I did and suffer for so long. When I first was asked to do this, I almost declined because I am far from being a H.I.M much less someone worthy of a highlight but I have a story as we all do, and I hope that this highlight has given you the strength to share yours, because without darkness there is no light and I want to help you get your light back no matter what that darkness looks like.